Michelle Park's Blog

School’s about to start in less than a week and this summer my prayers have just been about my preparation for Junior year (that I’m not lazy, etc) and also for good teachers. Because sophomore year, I had a few of the worst teachers I have experienced in my life, I was nearly confident that for Junior year God would provide good teachers.

Well the letter came in the mail, and lo and behold I have the exact teachers that I did not want, that I prayed not to have. In that moment of time, all the goodness and happiness in my mind went blank. (Basically felt like I was in the presence of a dementor) I was infuriated and just ended up thinking that God wants to waste my time, have me suck at life, and not be successful. I know, I was overreacting but 10th grade was so bad for me, having teachers that accused me of cheating, lying, and now seeing on my schedule the name of the worst teacher at SLHS (or rumors to be), I died a little.

I was so angry that I didn’t talk to my parents or anything. In my car my mom said, “Michelle, just trust God, he has a plan.” And all I could managed to do was sulk and stare out the window. “What plan? Plan for me to fail? God is not good. I tried trusting him sophomore, I studied and tried but he failed me then. And now he’s failing me again, some good God huh?” And my mom was quiet for awhile and just looked at me and said, “Michelle, I’m so disappointed in you. I though you learned from your trip from El Salvador. Remember those children there? They have nothing, yet they still praise God. You don’t even know how blessed you are. How is it that you, who have a good house, a family, food, money, education, and a future, can lose trust in God so easily, can curse His name, and blame him for every small thing that happens. Open your eyes”. And after that I just shut up.

Dang, my mom owned me so hard.